When a liar tells a story, he always uses the same way of doing it. For example, imagine for a long time you suspect your friend is lying about his trip in England (He swears he spent July there for some reason, but in reality, he never left New York). If you listened to the story few times and it always goes with the same structure (eg: “I went to England, saw London, met the Queen, left) and he never changes some details, then you know he is telling you a fiction that was made in his head. Even though they might give you tons of details about it, that specific stuff are usually around the same subject (Londn and meeting the queen) and you can easily notice after some time how repetitive he gets.
Illogical storytelling is the biggest verbal giveaway. If what a person says contradicts something that he said earlier, then, of course, you know exactly he is lying. To figure this out you need to listen carefully and not miss the details. Using the same example above, if your friend is lying about the trip to England entire July and later he briefly mentions his internship in July, you know that things do not add up. This goes back to something mentioned earlier – the people are not spies and they cannot keep up with lies all the time. They often make mistakes and if you will listen carefully, you can catch them easily.
How to deal with a liar
If the signs above helped you to catch a liar, then your next step will be dealing with them. This will not be easy and some cannot even help themselves. They have a reason behind their lies and they won’t give up their position easily. That’s why we have decided to include a useful guide on dealing with liars.
Collect the facts about his lies if it is possible. If you will simply tell a lying person that he is not honest, he won’t confess and will continue with lies as long as he can. That is, of course, not optimal. Showing them actual facts and their strange behavior could potentially lead them to admit that they are lying. Even then they will most likely deny accusation at first, but eventually, they won’t have any other option but to give up.
Make them feel that it is better to be honest than to lie. Sometimes the people simply lie once and they stick with it for a long time simply because they don’t want to have an awkward situation. They could be suffering from their own lies and you need to make them understand that it is okay to admit. This will definitely give them an incentive to be honest. Instead of having a conversation where you catch them and then punish them for it, be supportive and you will be surprised how effective it could be.
Make them understand the consequences of lying. Some people cannot even understand that lying is a bad thing and they expect others to be okay with that. That’s why it is important for you to let them know what a terrible behavior it is and that it kills your trust towards them. You need to tell them that they will definitely lose you if they continue being dishonest. If they are your close friends or family members and care about you, then they will choose you over their lies.
At this point, you should have enough information to spot a liar. Once you read all the tips above, you should not have a hard time doing it. Remember to observe their body language and look how they behave while talking. After that, you should focus on verbal communication and see what words they are using and how they are constructing sentences. Once you are sure that someone is lying, then you should deal with the situation by giving them facts and avoid being aggressive. Remember, getting angry could only make the situation worse, so it is better to deal with a calm manner.