Men, huh? Contrary to popular belief, men are quite complicated rather than simple. Of course, they will complain about all the little things, like when a woman takes up a minute extra to dress up and calls that complicated. But when it comes to actual things that can be correctly termed as “complicated,” men are the worst. It’s like they have this compulsive need to lie for everything, and the worst part of all is that they do it so casually. It’s impossible to tell when they are lying because apparently, they have evolved over time to perfect the art.
Finding out that your husband of all the people in the world is lying to you can break your soul. It makes you question everything about your relationship. It literally feels like someone reached out to your soul and took it out of you. After all, what good is your marriage without trust and unfaithfulness? Finding out that your better half has been lying to you (for whatever reason) throws all your marriage and relationship into a chaotic mess. However, there are always better ways to deal with it rather than just calling off your marriage. In most cases, people directly jump to conclusions, and this makes the matter even worse than it already is.
- Understanding why your husband is lying
In some cases, you may have found out that your husband is lying, but He isn’t aware of that. Now, as soon as you find out He’s lying to you, it is obvious that you will automatically want to confront him about it. But, that will never bring about a rational result rather that may just result in a series of pathetic “blame game” where he keeps denying that he’s lying. Before you decide to confront him, take a step back and find out the nature of his lying.
Not everything has to mean that he’s sleeping with other women. The reason may be of a different nature, and its easier to approach him if you know why he’s lying instead of just taking a stab and start accusing him of sleeping with other women.
It is vital to establish a clear premise before you start confronting him. Some common reasons (other than sex outside marriage) may include –
- An unhappy relationship between you and your husband
- Unhealthy work environment
- Mental illness or disorder
The silliest reason can also be that he just wants to hang out with his friends. It may not particularly be of a bad nature, but something that you won’t approve of, and hence, the lying part to get away from your little nags.
- Accept the reality
If you do find out that your husband is lying to you and the reason seem to be serious, the first thing to do is to accept the reality. The faster you accept that it all happened, the better. You will only make it worse for yourself if you keep trying to convince yourself that it’s not true. Once you accept it, no matter how hard the reality seems, you can move on to make a rational decision.
- Don’t seek Revenge
This is probably the worst thing that you can do. The anger and frustration empower most women to take up this step just to let him have a taste of his own medicine. But, all this does is make things more complicated, and most importantly demean yourself by going down to his level. Once you decide to take revenge on him and accomplish that, there is really no point of him cheating on you in the first place. That just make things even, and there is really no Bad Guy in this case. All that does is give him a reason to escape out of it. It has become a common affair to take revenge on your partner by exposing him on the internet via social networking sites, but that too is a stupid thing to do. All that does is give you a sense of momentary satisfaction, and after some point of time all that will seem illogical and may even work against you.
- Keep your kids away from it
Most people use their children as leverage when things like this happen. Whatever your husband is lying to you about, he is still a father of your children. It is unwise to expose your children to such a harsh reality, and also your children will be scared for the rest of their life. To know that their father isn’t the man they look up to will most definitely affect their views on relationship and parenthood. Whatever it is, keep it between you and your husband, so that your children don’t have to suffer and forced to take sides.
- Think Practical
After finding out the harsh reality, it is of no use trying to imagine the life that you once thought you had. If you suspect that the nature of your husband lying will most probably lead to the end of your marriage, it is best if you take a practical step, instead of denying it. You can take necessary steps for the separation process and the kids custody, but keep in mind that this should be “the last resort.”
- Healthy mind
It is most vital to keep your mind healthy and positive. Even in the worse situations, positive mind, and approach can do wonders. It is also best if you think carefully before you open up about your situations to your friends/ family. They will always not have the best opinion, and that may lead to further confusion. They will have strong opinions on their own, and you may end up thinking more negatively about your situation. Also, too many opinions will leave you more confused about what to do next. This may also lead to escalating the situation as the words will most likely spread out if you start sharing.
At the end of the day, it affects your marriage and most importantly your life the most. If you let someone else decide what to do, you may regret that afterward. Keep a healthy mind and think practically of all the consequences that may result out of it.