If your husband is only concerned about himself an rarely focusing on you, then you may have married a narcissist person. Things are not easy with them. They care too much about themselves and being in a relationship is not narcissists are good at.
7 Ways to Deal With a Narcissistic Husband
Narcissists are self-centered, constantly needs admiration and attention, think that they are highly important, and lacks empathy. These kinds of people are usually vulnerable to criticism and have fragile self-esteem. Being a self-centered individual there must be a specific way to deal with them and not collide with their belief.
If you have a narcissistic husband, maybe this article will hopefully help you deal with his behavior. Here are 7 ways on how you can deal with his nasty behavior:
1. Narcissists Don’t Make Apologies
If your husband really is a narcissist, then you’ll notice that he never actually says sorry. It is because he finds it too humiliating to accept the blame, even if he knows that he’s wrong. Which sometimes hurts most women’s feelings as this is usually the opposite.
However, he might somehow make a reparative gesture as his way of apologizing such as buying you a present or asking you to decide on where to go or eat. So, instead of asking for his apology, you should just accept this kind of behavior, especially if you want to continue your relationship on a better note.
2. Use “We” Instead Of “You” Or “Me”
This is actually an effective technique, where you can point out his mistakes without causing another argument. As you do this, it will be like the problem is caused by the both of you, instead of making it seem like it was his entire fault, which will likely cause a negative reaction from him.
It may sound weird or silly, but you should probably use the first person plural every time you have to. This equalizes the situation and is more solemn into pushing ideas or communicating with them.
3. Ask Him to Go to a Marriage Counselor With You
Once your husband hears the word counseling, it may result in him having a violent reaction towards it. So before you ask him to go to a therapy with you, you should carefully choose your words well so that you can encourage him to go with you.
Here is an example:
• To keep the tone non-accusatory, you should say, “I want to see a therapist with you so that we can figure out how we can communicate better, and enjoy the company of each other. I want us to work better in our relationship so that both of us can get what we need.
4. The Lack of Empathy
Since narcissist lacks empathy, this would mean that they won’t feel bad even if they have badly hurt your feelings. They may even not notice your reaction, but if they do, they’ll still unlikely care about it.
If you complain about your husband’s lack of empathy, he will most likely tell you that you are sensitive and such. Therefore, throughout your relationship, he will likely hurt your feelings repeatedly both accidentally or purposely. If you still want to be by his side, then you should prepare for this in your relationship.
5. Give Him Enough Attention that He Needs
Narcissistic or not, he is still your husband. Therefore, he still needs to feel loved. Giving him some attention isn’t exactly feeding his ego. Just tell him that you love him, spend some time together, and do some activities together on weekends or after work. Giving your narcissistic husband enough attention will please him, as you are always paying attention to him.
6. Give Him Rewards
Sometimes, asking your husband to do something for you will take a lot of work on your part. To encourage him to do a favor for you, you should try rewarding him as a compromise.
In this way, rather than always getting what he wants from you, he will not only get something that he wants, but you’ll also get what you want. For example:
• If you want him to go grocery shopping as you are too busy, then you should tell him that you’ll also do something for him after he’s done shopping. Like for example, “Will you go grocery shopping today? If you do, I will get you an entrance ticket for the baseball match of your favorite team.”
Make sure that the reward will be given after he has done the task. This will let him know that he can only get the reward after finishing the job.
7. Be Patient With Him
Experts say that changing a narcissistic person to become better, will take a huge amount of time. Therefore, you will need a lot of patience before you can successfully change him, or at least cope up with his behavior. Just continue being gentle, understanding, loving, and compassionate to him so that your marriage can run smoothly. Sometimes going with the flow is much better than colliding with it.
Additionally, if you want to cope up with your husband’s behavior, you should try finding yourself a support system. He can also read this article about how to stop being a narcissist. Dealing with a narcissistic husband will build up a lot of stress and work in you, which will constantly make you feel exhausted. Most wives end up having depressive behaviors because of the buildup. Some would have longer means of understanding but if you are easily affected? Well… I would really advise you to know how to control your temper and not flare things up. As a reward, you should treat yourself a massage or spa during the weekends. Don’t forget to take care of yourself.