How frustrating is it to be around someone who is a control freak? There is absolutely nothing more annoying than to be stuck with someone who turns out to be a control freak. The constant interventions with our daily tasks and told not to do almost everything we have been doing or the fact that we are told not do the way we do things.
It’s like they are playing GOD with you, where they sit back and try to control every aspect of your life and constantly interferes with everything around you. It can occur in your relationship or in a working environment. It can even occur in among friends; the fact is Control freaks don’t restrict themselves to a particular area. In most cases, you realize too late that your friend or boss is control freak and by the time you do, your life has already been entangled in it.
It seems too hard to rid of someone who turns out to be a control freak, let alone try to manipulate them. But there will always be a solution to everything other than simply “Getting Rid” of them (as in getting them off your back, not what you are thinking). After all, even control freaks are humans, and the one common thing about us, Humans is that we are all manipulative in one way or the other.
Every person, even control freaks can be manipulated. But you need to keep in mind that the key to executing the “manipulate the freak” thingy depends on you entirely. Unless a “manipulate the control freak” service comes out soon in the near future, you have to do it yourself.
The below steps are in no way a secret “Mantra” to fix your problem in a jiffy. It’s just a set of instructions that you need to execute perfectly if you want to manipulate a “control freak.”
What do I mean by confidence? It means to be confident about what you do in front of them or basically in everything that they love to interfere with. Studies have shown that “control freaks” tend to be more active in complaining about something that they see as “unmotivated.” If you appear to be doing something with certain doubts, they are sure to interfere and undermine your work. But, if you keep doing what you do with confidence, that makes them think at least once before raising any complaints about it. That also gives you a massive edge if they try to argue with you. If you just fold in as soon their infamous critics start pouring in; there is no way, you can manipulate them. If they are a control freak, be a confident-freak yourself. Confidence can do so much more than you think.
- Pay no Heed
A comment from a control freak can never be positive, as their nature is mostly out of anger or frustration. If you start paying attention to everything they say, you will just be putting yourself down for no reason, whether it is in your relationship or workplaces. You don’t just stop doing what you have to, just because of what they make out of it. As long as you don’t let their actions control you, you are free from their toxic nature. If you change your actions according to how they see it, it’s just a welcoming sign for them to keep controlling you. It’s like you’re feeding them with the energy they require to constantly control every aspect of your life. If you stand firm and just ignore whatever they say and produce positive results, that’s when you start taking control.
- Speak out
This point is arguable; most people suggest that “silent treatment” is the way to deal with a control freak, but if you’re just going to sit there silently without speaking out, you’re just giving them more reasons to complain about it. If you want to manipulate them, you have to talk (unless you’re Professor X). If someone just shouts at you for no reason and constantly find fault in you, would you just sit there and listen? If you do that, it gives them more power to talk about it because you cannot defend yourself. Be Confident and have the guts to stand up for yourself, with confidence and courage, you can easily minimize their negative effect on you. This allows you to gain more confidence and also makes them more hesitant to complain.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you will argue with them every single time. But keeping quiet too often may further deteriorate the controlling aspect. What works best is “Talk back when necessary” and other than those occasions just avoid them, like literally “walk through them” as if they were invisible to you.
- Always seek others help
It’s always a good idea to share with your family/friends about it. A Control freak will never understand what they make other people go through. In fact, professional psychologists have stated that Control Freaks don’t see themselves as Bad people or bad influence on others. For them, they are just trying to help others do the right thing in the right way. They see themselves as Batman and not Joker (cheeky!). This is why you need other people to support you, who can bring about a positive change and motivate you to take necessary actions.
Studies have shown that being in a controlled environment or with a control freak can often lead to depression. This is because of all the negative energy that you are fed with every day leading to deterioration of your confidence. Once you lose your focus and interest, it becomes so much easier for others to control you even more.
Having a supportive friend/colleague/family member can help you deal with a control freak more effectively. To know that they have your back will always give you more strength to deal with control freaks.
These are some simple (yet not limited to) ways that you can approach while dealing with a control freak in order to obtain the most efficient results.