- YOU WOULD DO THIS IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME…
This is the worse. A manipulative partner is practically asking you to prove that you love them over and over again with the intention of letting you give them whatever they want. “you would go get ice cream for me at the store if you really love me!” or “If you really love me you would rethink your decision about having babies.” Here your partner is using emotion and guilt to shame or prod you to do anything that they want. Irrespective of how innocent it may sound, it is a technique of manipulation.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Simply put a stop to it. Tell them you can still love them in so many other ways without having to go and get ice cream at the store. You can also directly tell them to simply ask them a favor without staking your love for them on it.
- EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
It is an ugly thing to use emotional blackmail, and no part of it contributes to a healthy relationship. It goes something like “if you leave I will kill myself,” or “without you, I will surely commit suicide.” It can either be casual or dramatic. Here your partner is using shame, guilt and fear tactics to keep you under their control. Are you just in a relationship because your partner is threatening to kill themselves if you leave? No one’s well being or life is your complete responsibility.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Don’t fall victim to it. Most times, it is more a form of manipulation than a real threat to self-harm or suicide. Just try and be on the safe side by telling them you will call an ambulance or the police if they are feeling suicidal because it is not your responsibility to deal with it. It may sound harsh, but often, this is the best thing that you can do both for your partner as well as for you.
Remember that if you stay too long in a manipulative relationship or let yourself be manipulated into doing things that you do not like at all, it will lead you to depression as well. Keep in mind that your well being is your priority.