Having narcissists in your life can be really tough and annoying. We try to avoid dealing with them as much as possible since it is easier that way. However, it may be more helpful if you understood why and how they lie and come up with a logical solution to tackle it.
It’s usually simple to spot a narcissist person. There is no such thing as a narcissists test to determine if he/she is a narcissist. Narcissism is obvious from a person’s personality and their everyday behaviour. You just need to look out for a set of symptoms to spot a narcissist out from your group of people.
Urban dictionary defines Narcissistic as “having or showing excessive admiration or interest for one’s own physical appearance or one’s own intellect.” Now, that makes it more simple to spot out narcissists, in short, just look out for all those self-righteous people. They will always take the moral high ground, and they will always try to prove that they are superior to you in both physical as well as in intellectual level.
Narcissism is not a normal trait for a person to possess. Usually, people just ignore them or just accept their narcissistic nature and move on. This, however, can lead to more serious medical condition. A narcissistic personality disorder is one of the many forms of Personality disorder, and if you just ignore them without trying to understand how or why they do what they do will only increase their narcissistic behaviour, and the ultimate result is the development of personality disorder.
Why do narcissists lie or behave the way they do?
The need for constant attention and self-admiration is the best way to understand why narcissists lie. This may be only true if you’re THOR from the marvel universe and of course fictional. Maybe once a while, they may be truly superior to the other person both physically and intellectually, but it is literally impossible to achieve that all the time. In fact, a narcissist will try to prove their superiority even if they have no significant achievements. Even if they possess certain productive qualities, they will always exaggerate their talents or achievements to gain more attention.
So basically narcissists people are like “The Kardashians” in their own respective lives. The need to stay in the spotlight no matter what the situation is, makes them lie. This constant need to grab attention often leads to people developing less empathy or none at all.
Regardless of the situation, they will tend to lie just for the sake of making it about them. It doesn’t matter if that lie makes their other friends look bad or demean their character as long as they get the attention and the feeling that they are important.
The root cause of developing a narcissist character can be traced back to its medical origins. Narcissism can be linked to various factors such as –
- Genetics – inherited characteristics from their parents or any related family members.
- Environment – the way they have been brought up with excess criticism or constant need to achieve something to gain praises or unhealthy parent-child relationships.
- Neurobiology – the relationship between the brain and the behaviour.
How do narcissists lie?
How narcissists lie is a wide area of topic. They don’t restrict themselves to any limits, and any lie that makes them look good is always a welcoming sign for them. Here are some common ways of how narcissists lie.
- “I know that – ask me!”
The need to overcompensate what they know or understand in order to elevate their own status is the primary reason why they lie. Regardless of what the topic of discussion is, they will always lie about their knowledge of the topic to draw attention. They can just about make anything up even if they don’t have the slightest clue, and somehow convince you to believe that as well. On a regular basis, a narcissist will try to prove or remind everybody how important they are by involving themselves in every little discussion and make it a point to let everybody know that they know everything.
- “I’m better than everyone.”
According to various medical researches, the primary aspects or the characteristics of a narcissist is composed of two main components. First, “to believe that they are superior than the rest” and secondly, “expecting others to recognize them as superior.” This ultimately results in narcissistic people developing a strong sense of self-admiration. All that “humble” character goes out the window, and the bragging and self-righteous characters make their way in. Its literally like they believe that they are of a superior race or belong to a special category of people. In most cases, their obvious detest for other “inferior” people is revealed through judgements, sarcasm, criticisms and stereotypes.
- “it’s not my fault; it’s yours.”
Admitting that they have made a mistake is like a narcissist “kryptonite” (Superman? Get it?). The whole concept of proving themselves as superior comes in the way of admitting their faults. A narcissist will only look for other person’s fault regardless of the situation they are facing. No matter how bad they were and how they were clearly the reason for failure, the fact that they believe themselves to be superior makes them shift the blame to other people. Another common way of doing this is by making excuses out of the situation. There will always be an excuse for their failure, rather than admitting it.
- “I Promise”
They will always make promises that they can’t keep, just for the sake of gaining attention momentarily. For them, it doesn’t matter if their promise is hurting other people, as long as it gives them a sense of self-importance. They will only keep promises to suit their own needs or to meet his/her obligations. The promises can range from minor circumstances or serious cases like abandoning relationships or responsibilities.