- Don’t take it personally
A compulsive liar may lie straight to your face, but in many cases, they don’t have any sense of how that affects them or the other person. It’s just like a remote button that just clicks inside them, and they lie for no apparent reason. Even though it is too hard not to take things personally most of the time, it is vital to understand that; they don’t mean to harm you particularly. There is no personal agenda or dislike involved when they lie to you, its just their way of functioning.
The moment you start taking their lies personally, it only gets worse from there. It’s like you trying to convince a two-year-old not to suck on their thumb; they will still do it because they don’t have any sense of how it affects them.
- Expect denial
Don’t just expect them to agree with the fact that they are a compulsive liar when you first approach them. It is our human defence mechanism to automatically defend ourselves when we are confronted with our shortcomings or lies. For most compulsive liars, even the fact that you think they lie will sound preposterous. The simple fact is, lying for them is like an involuntary action, that they control over, but in due time if you’re patient, they will eventually see it.
In fact, there have been many cases, where compulsive liars have come out openly and shared that they have problems. These are all a result of a positive attitude and support from friends/families.
If you decide to just confront them without any plan, you may as well just kiss any possible future treatment bye-bye. Expecting a denial allows you to keep calm even if they disagree with you, in this way you can keep finding ways to help them realize that they have a problem without losing your temper.