Humans are social creatures. Liking each other and approval of the people around us is important for us. We don’t necessarily want them to love us (although would be nice), but disliking us could have serious social consequences. Why don’t people like me? you are wondering and that question brought you here. Below you can find all the information you need to answer why people do not like you. Let us start with some characteristics that people really dislike and try to find if you have some of them.
Annoying Characteristics – The people won’t like you if
You are arrogant and you need to remember this very well. If you are constantly bragging about yourself and your achievements, you annoy the people around you. Do you like arrogant people? chances are that you don’t and others dislike them as well. Nobody likes to listen to how cool you are or how much money you have. Some people also display their arrogance by being intellectual snobs who think they are smarter than everybody else.
You are Debbie Downer. The life is hard for everyone without you bringing negativity around. Nobody enjoys being around someone who constantly focuses on the bad stuff and negative sides of things. If you are like that, others most likely associate you with unpleasant feelings and depressive moods. We are not saying to be a new age monk who’s always positive, but don’t make the people sad around you. No one will like you.
If you swear constantly and use vulgar words. It might have been cool in middle school, but eventually, the people start hating constant swearing. Once in a while it is fine (depending on the situation), but if 50% of your verbal communication consists of swearing, then you have a problem. Others won’t take you seriously and you’ll end up isolated in the social situations.
If you are rude in general. Some people can’t help it. They are naturally rude even though they do not necessarily have bad intentions. The way they speak, the comments they make and the tone they have could automatically be considered rude, but they are not even aware of it. Make sure you do not treat others rudely because nobody likes being friends with rude people. Especially our society evolved from rudeness and we are going towards a politically correct culture that does not tolerate such behavior.
If you won’t stop lying and people do not even understand what’s true and not. Yes, there’s that cliche that everybody lies. It is true, but normal people do it a little bit. And there are the people who simply are addicted to lying. Others will eventually figure out that you lie all the time and will stop trusting you. Untrustworthy people are always disliked. If you are one of them, don’t be surprised why people do not like you.
If you envy others and their achievements. It is in the human nature to feel envious once in a while. It’s not that bad, because it actually motivates you to achieve the same thing or even more. However, some people do nothing but envy others and their happiness. This trait is easily noticeable and nobody will like you, because in reality you are simply feeling angry and sad they are actually being happy. Who would like that kind of person? It is worse than being a liar.
Annoying Behaviors – Don’t be THAT person
Basic hygiene is very important. It’s not hard to maintain it and failing to do it will have a tremendous amount of negative consequences. Why? because who likes the people that smell terribly? Using deodorant and showering regularly is essential. If you want a more scientific answer, here it is: Throughout the history of mankind, cleanliness was associated with the less risk of getting diseases. It was literally dangerous to hang out with a filthy person because he or she might have given you bacteria that was most likely deadly at that time. Nowadays taking shower only once a month will not kill you probably, but it will definitely make you one very unpopular person.
Sharing too much of controversial opinions on Social Media. We get it that expressing yourself is a good thing, but having a right of a free speech doesn’t protect you from consequences of tweeting 10 times a day about something sensitive that could upset the people. Even if some of them agree with you, it doesn’t mean that they like you either, because you post so often. If you really must do it, publish things once in a while and always be ready for the results that could be socially negative.
Bullying someone is not cool. Although physical bullying in adults is not as common as in children, we see quite a lot of cases of verbal bullying. Teasing friends is not cruel, but some people literally abuse others. Not only it is cruel and highly inappropriate, it is unacceptable and disliked in the adult world. If you are a rude person who does that, you need to reconsider your life choices and understand that it won’t take you far in terms of social life.
What people do not like
Being out of shape and looking like a mess won’t get you many friends either. Don’t get us wrong. We do not judge the people based on their looks, but others do and that’s why we are including it on this list. Our society is slowly accepting that is wrong to do it, but we still have a long way to go. It is an evolutionary thing to have a desire to connect and be around with attractive and fit people. If your goal is to be more liked, then consider getting in shape and dressing up better.
Being awkward to talk to in general is also not a great social trait. People like to be around an easy-going person who communicates clearly, does not show a strange behavior and expresses a desire for friendship with others. Do not refuse invitations to go out all the time and do not be quiet when hanging out with others. Simply try to be comfortable. We won’t discuss solutions for now. You will be able to find that at the end of the article.
Trying too hard to make others like you do not impress anyone. Don’t try to market yourself. You are not a salesperson. Social groups often exclude people who try too hard to belong somewhere. Being overly friendly and always hunting for acceptance will only hurt your social life. Being liked should be a result of who you are and not an end goal.
So, what can I do to make people like me?
Now that you know the things that people dislike, you are ready to start a journey of getting a better social life. Obvious and logical first step would be to analyze yourself and see if you have characteristics given above. If you find few (or all of them), then stop doing that. The second step would be to build a better character of yourself. Here are few tips that will help:
Get smarter by reading books and watching documentaries. Not saying you need to become a professor, but having a general understanding of the world around you will make you an interesting person. The people will start enjoying talking to you and listening to what you have to share. Having conversations about interesting stuff is a crucial part of being liked and socially accepted.
Try to become a good listener. You will be surprised to find out how many people simply look for someone as a friend who will listen. It is a psychological effect involved here. The people will think you are a great communicator if you will listen well. Of course, there’s a simple logic in that. Having a conversation doesn’t only involve talking, but listening as well.
In conclusion, simply work on yourself and try to create a person inside you that you will enjoy being around. If you analyze yourself, then imagine you as somebody else and you won’t like that imagined person, then others won’t like you either. Hopefully, the article answers your question of why don’t people like me. Good luck on your journey to becoming a better person.